we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
You better be coming back...your date is passed out in a shrub in my backyard and I'm pretty sure her shirt is on my kitchen floor
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Randomize
