I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Sex in the backyard? Check.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
