You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Randomize
