It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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