Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
my soul wont recognize me after tonight
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize
