awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
Randomize
