I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
i out mim tonsoeep
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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