You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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