Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
high people should be assigned attendants
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
