just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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