i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Randomize
