How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
