found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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