I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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