I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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