maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
