i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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