is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
