Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
