I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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