I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
