I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Randomize
