Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
