3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
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