Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
there's paper in my vomit.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I'm hiding out in the living room until he falls back asleep. If he catches a whiff of my tits, it's all over. I just need to play it cool. Babies can smell fear
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize
