It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
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