Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Randomize
