i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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