I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
