She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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