I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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