this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
