The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
First night in my new place, I had to get drunk to get used to the idea of shitting in a new toilet
Randomize
