And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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