Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
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