based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
I could make wine with my vomit
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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