Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
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