best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
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