Define "chronic" masturbator.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
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