Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
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