we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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