dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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