ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
