I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
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