Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Randomize
