dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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