people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Randomize
