Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
