Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
Randomize
