honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
