i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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