i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
