Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
