last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
How do you clean human pee out of a carpet
Inconspicuously
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
Randomize
