Did I tell you he has dinosaur sheets?
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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