Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
