..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
