shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
