You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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