you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
