I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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