Duck Duck Cougar?
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
