google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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