i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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