she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
