Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize